C.I.S. Comparative Inadequacy Syndrome
Ever feel as though you are not good enough? This is a thought that has halted me at several different stages of my life. The more I look back and examine moments in my life, the more that I see this accursed ailment creeping up on me. However, I am not writing this to psychologically deal with my personal issues on a public forum. I bring up this topic to say, "What can I do about this?"
I recognize that this (completely made up and attributed to Rushton Hurley @rushtonh) "syndrome" is holding me back in my professional career and to an extent with my hobbies and friends. So what though. I can see it happening, but how do I stop it? How can I change the outcome?
When I think about my personal inadequacies and how they compare to others, I come away with one phrase, "Why do I need to share this with the world? Someone else has already done it and probably did it better." My hope is that if I just keep my head down and do a great job, then someone will come along and share my work with others and exclaim that I was amazing! THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN. I know this now. My job is to create my own profession. If I want to be a great teacher I need to show everyone all the things I am doing in my classroom, which make me an amazing teacher. This enlightenment is not going to be easy to break into though. I will be fighting through years of telling myself things which run counter to this new way of thinking. No one cares. It's not perfect. ______ did it better, let them share it. Don't Brag.
So, you ask, what does this mean to me. Well I know I am not alone in this conversation otherwise the world would know about and celebrate all the great things teachers do in their classroom. The feeling I am left with after making this new discovery is that breaking through these challenges will take courage. It will take the courage to fail, the courage to succeed, and the courage to leave myself open to criticism. All of these (even success) are not really welcome attributes in my life right now, but I also know that they are something I want to try out. Lets see what it looks like to succeed, fail and be vulnerable. I dare you to come one this adventure with me. Look back and examine your professional career. Are you ready for the change?
